- Numbers 4:1-5:31
- Mark 12:18-37
- Psalm 48:1-14
- Proverbs 10:26
Recently, I was asked to pray with and for a friend who is going through something terrible in her family. One of her close family members had a tough decision to make. My friend did all the right things, she supported and counselled her family member. She got some professional help for the family. She set up a Facebook prayer message with her church family, and included me in that group. A few of us fasted and prayed, others prayed. Some of the women put up the praying hands, some said words of affirmations to my friend and her family. Some prayed for a specific decision. And most agreed, “Thy will be done, Father.” I don’t know who these other women are, but some of them had the most exquisite prayers. I sat in awe at their raw-ness and humility. For several days we’ve been keeping Facebook Messenger vigil over this decision.
My friend had asked some of her family to be praying too, so there was also a completely separate prayer message going on during this time. All of us praying for the “good” outcome. Its really beautiful knowing that so many people pulled together to pray for this family, I felt honored and blessed to virtually meet with these souls and pour blessings over my friend and her family.
Finally, the day arrived for the decision to get made. Unfortunately, the choice was not what we had all hoped for. Human Free Will, given by God prevailed and the outcome wasn’t what we had thought or hoped would happen.
I found myself a little jarred by this. Like being in a car accident really, driving along thinking its a beautiful sunny day, what could go wrong with all these virtual friends by my side, and then WHAM! I get sideswiped by free will decision making gone awry. My friend was devastated. This decision made will alter the path of her family forever, and my friend has no control over it. She did all she could and has to live with the choice of another forever.
What do we do with that? What do we do when bad choices get made and they fundamentally change the way things are “supposed to be”? What do we do when someone close to us abandons the faith that they have been taught and raised in? Because essentially that’s what happened, the family member made a decision to do something that seems to be the opposite of “What Jesus Would Do”? What do we do especially when these decisions are made by our adult children, and you just want to grab their shoulders and shake them saying, “What are you thinking?!?! I taught you better than this!!”
Many of the women in my virtual prayer meeting said, “You love her unconditionally like Jesus loves us.” This is so true, absolutely, we’ve all done things and made choices that Jesus Wouldn’t Do or Make. (there should be a book like that) I totally agree. But if I’m honest, and I usually am, that’s not what my instinct says. My instinct is to put up my hand and walk away, saying you made your choice, now deal with it. Talk to the hand sis.
Love the Lord your God
with all your heart and
with all your soul and
with all your mind and
with all your strength.
Sometimes, friends, we have to break down the Words of Jesus in to baby steps. This is one of those times, because I my Enneagram 4-ness has a difficult time navigating feelings and thoughts in my daily.
Love is an action word. Its just that simple. We make a decision to love every time we cook dinner after work even though we’d rather just plop down on the couch with a cup of tea. Love is getting up early on Saturday morning for little league and staying gone till after dark because your kid is pretty good this year. Love is wiping snotty noses that are gross and slimy. Love is cleaning up the vomit of a loved one whose chemotherapy treatments are tough this week. That’s LOVE, ya’ll. Its not ALWAYS that mushy gushy feeling when we first meet the person we “fell in love” with, or the look on that sweet baby’s face when they’re asleep. LOVE friends, is an action word.
In scripture the Heart is talking about the very center of a human. A person’s will, intention, character are the Heart. Some of the reference on biblehub.com state that Heart refers to “the understanding, the faculty and seat of intelligence”. This again, isn’t that sparkle in the eye heart, this Heart is where decisions get made at. My husband and I of 29 years, talk often of how we have made the DECISION to love each other for all these numbers of years. That doesn’t mean we don’t have intimate mushy gushy times, but certainly there have been days where, my Heart was the seat of intelligence to Love him and while I think I’m pretty cool, I’m sure its been the same for him.
Soul is translated to greek as Psuche. Psuche is also described as the Breath of Life. The Bible tells us that when God created man he breathed life in to him, every creature on earth that God made, He breathed life it to. This is Psuche. The place where God lives. Our Soul. THAT is where we love from…we allow God to breathe in to us so that we are able to love when bad choices and decisions get made that make it really difficult for my humanness to love with.
With all your Mind. So this is the part where I have to take off my emotional cap and put on my thinking cap. Not really a strong suit, to be honest. This work in Greek is dianioa, it means intellect, thought, understanding. When I was thinking about all this situation yesterday and was madder than a wet hen about the choice that got made I remembered Matthew 5:
You have heard that it was said to people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgement. But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgement. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.Matthew 5:21-22
Well, alrighty then! I guess my Mind better take over this Love I need to put in to action, right? This is the part where I repeat over and over and over and over in my Mind that Jesus came to this earth to die for me even before I was born to save me from the stupid decisions I made too. Don’t feel, just think.
Now let’s talk about what the decision to Love DOESN’T mean. This kind of Love DOESN’T mean sticking around for abuse or condoning bad behavior. When people we love do things that we don’t understand, are hurtful to ourselves or others, when we aren’t protected, sometimes requires Strength to let go. This decision to love takes Strength during times when life just doesn’t make sense. Sometimes it means sitting in a pile of tears watching them walk away in to their destiny with nothing but the clothes on their back. Sometimes people have to experience the consequences of their poor choices so that they can hopefully turn back to God, when those consequences get tough. And they will get tough. To Love someone enough to watch them walk away takes the Strength of an army. Loving someone sometimes means letting them go, even though the very cell of our being wants to hold on to them. This kind of Strength can only come through prayer and with the help of friends and family and perhaps even a support group.
So Lord, this is a long journal entry, and I didn’t even know where to begin when I started. But as always you walked me through it and I feel stronger than before. Thank you. Lord, teach me to love like this. Thank you for your patience and understanding. Thank you that you loved me, before I was even lovable. I pray for the person reading this that you would guide them closer to you through this writing, thank you that you brought them here today.
Have you ever had to let go of someone you love because of their bad decisions?
What do you do when your prayers seem unanswered?